A Poet's Progress - Rob Miles's's' Blog

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Next

Sat, May 08 2004

Unleash the Power

Last night the kitchen sink blocked again. This happens at irregular intervals, but I don't really mind that much. I quite enjoy using the sink plunger to unblock it, although the first time I ever used one the results were less than funny. I put the plunger over the blocked drain hole, leant over the sink and let fly with a mighty pump. Unfortunately at the time I had a very poor grasp of the matter of hydraulics and sink plumbing. This resulted in an enormous jet of what can only be described as yeccch coming out of the overflow hole in the side of the sink and covering me. The lesson here kids is to block up the overflow before letting fly.

But now I've grown to quite like the task. Perhaps this is because I like the sound effects. Perhaps it is because I can seem capable and manly without a great deal of effort. Whatever. Unfortunately I've contrived to lose the sink plunger. Maybe I got invited to a really wild party some time back that I've since forgotten about. Anyhoo, asked my wife to buy another unblocker and she came up with this little beauty.

And it even has a pistol grip.

A few quick applications and the sink was right as rain. I'm thinking of buying another plunger and seeing if you can scale buildings with them...

Hmmm. It has just occurred to me that blog readers now think that the highlight of my Saturday was clearing a sink. Never mind. And no, I don't do house calls. And you couldn't afford me anyway.

 


Fri, May 07 2004

Real Life and Marking

Bill Bailey was very funny last night. The T shirt I bought has the legend "It's the sense of utter despair" written on it. I quite enjoyed asking for an "Extra large sense of utter despair please" when I bought it. Along with a mug that says "Half Empty". The salesmen commented that these were very English choices. I'm inclined to agree.

And now I'm back to marking project work. It is coming along nicely, but I'm still driven to "a sense of utter despair" by the fact that quite a few reports have been submitted without being spell checked. Ugh! Don't I count that much. Do people think "Oh, it's only for Rob, I'll not bother finding out why Word has underlined all those words with a wavy red line". Come on people, do some proofing. If only for the sake of my fragile ego.

And as if to call me a liar, The Simpsons was back on the telly tonight.

 


Thu, May 06 2004

Bill Bailey Rules!

Went to see Bill Bailey tonight. Very funny. I'll write that again. VERY FUNNY. He is doing a tour type thing and came to Hull. You know when your mouth gets tired of laughing? Had that. Big time. Bought a T shirt. And a mug, And a program. He's worth it. Very hard to describe what he does, or how clever it is. But he does it very well. He doesn't tell jokes as such, or even stories really. He just stands around saying things. And being really funny. If you get the chance to go and see his tour, just go. It is on for the next couple of months. You can find out more here.

That figure on the stage is Bill Bailey being really funny.

 


Wed, May 05 2004

Eccch TV

Watched some stupid TV today. Every now and then I go back to the telly and see if anything worth watching has come along. And just about every time I'm depressed by what I find. They used to put "The Simpsons" on at 6:00 each evening, just in time for tea. This I liked, even at the 10th time of viewing it is still worth watching (which is good news for Sky of course).

Now, that seems to have gone (I think the BBC lost the contract or something - I wonder if they've looked behind the filing cabinet...). Instead we have this horrid program about the trials and tribulations of people who want to move out of London into the country. I've solved this problem in advance by the rather cunning plan of not going to London in the first place, but there you go. Anyhoo, we have hushed voiceovers along the lines of "Sadly, Tristran and Lucinda only have two hundred and fifty thousand pounds for their new cottage in the country and so I'm going to have to choose very carefully..."

How can you feel sorry for someone with a quarter of a million pounds to spend on their house? But it gets worse. The camera is now dragged round a whole bunch of properties and we get to watch the reaction of "Tris and Lucy" to the footage. The unhappy couple say things like "The second breakfast room is a bit small, and I'm not sure that the helipad is in the right place.....". Wah! And I'm paying my licence fee for this. Having said that, I hope that they do get their dream cottage. And that someone builds a sewage works next door to it the following week.

 


Tue, May 04 2004

Preston Foster Rides Again

Ugh. Marking. Or at least getting round to doing it. Spent the entire day preparing materials so that I can go through them and mark them. But then we had another meeting of the Preston Foster appreciation society. Or, as my wife more succinctly puts it "You're off down the pub again, aren't you?". I pointed out that it is in fact a gathering of movie aficionados who may also discuss current affairs and matters of light relief. And that decorum will be maintained at all times. And then I abstracted ten pounds beer money from her purse and left at speed....

As usual, I can't quite remember what we discussed as the night wore on. However, I do remember finding the following very funny (even though I said it):

What does a magician say when he makes a corpse appear?
Abracadaver.

And neither Ian nor Pete were familiar with the fact that the word "Gullible" does not appear in the dictionary. Really it doesn't. You go and take a look while I have hysterics.

 


Mon, May 03 2004

The Evil that is Croquet

Over to dad's place to play the most evil game in the world. Forget all your first person shooters. Croquet is the game to get down and dirty with. If you've never played the game before you really should have a go. It looks like a silly game involving hitting balls through hoops. But it is deeply tactical and incredibly nasty. The fact that the world champion for a few years was a Professor of Mathematics should give you an idea of the tactical aspects. I'm not a professor of anything but I still enjoy the game. It is wonderful to watch people who previously dismissed the game as a silly kids thing get into the spirit of the occasion and spend ages agonising over which of their opponents to send into the flower bed. Played two, won one. Had fun. And we had another BBQ (second this weekend) and it didn't rain. Yay!

 


Sun, May 02 2004

Ho for Milton Keynes

And so another Collectormania in Milton Keynes. I've already been to one and so I can call myself an old hand now. Got up at the same hideous hour (which was kind of stupid because this time they made us queue outside for an hour) and shot off down the motorway. Got a couple of signed pictures (you can find out who in the spoke blog) and made some carefully judged purchases. Including a Back to the Future remote controlled car. Yay!

 


Posted at:Tue, Jun 15 2004 07:25:10 PM by Rob

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